Hanford Criterium,Stupid is as stupid does or Hells Bells

OK my take on events. Quite Obvious I mucked up the countdown to the Finale......did I mention math wasn't my favorite subject in Skool?

Any who it basically the Mastrs 35+ 4/5 came down to letting others think for me when they came in. My bad, My Fault. I had a plan come lap 5 when I got myself into a tasty position about 6 from the front. I had spent the race in whole tucked in about 20~30th looking to stay outta trouble like the crash I got caught behind in the E4/5. Only one time during the race did I go to the front and Pull. It was getting laxed and dangerous So I zoomed up to the front and stretched the field out for a lap. after that Lap 10 came and I moved into the top 10~15, At lap 5 I moved up to the top 5~10 positions and was ready to move to position 2 when we hit the back stretch. About somewhere into Lap 3 Xeno moved up and gave me his wheel, then going into Lap 2 Rich appeared. I was thinking Man this can't be true, it can't get any better than this. We're heading across the S/F line (OH wait did I mention all the Freaking Bells that Toyota United handed out. Those Damn bells were rattling the whole race.) At that Point I saw the 1 lap card and that was the nail in the Coffen. Bells the #1 card and I'm thinking this is it. My problem was that I let my mates down by not controlling their pace as we were in the front too early and I stopped thinking for myself. We're heading into the turny section and Rich had had just about enough and pulled off at turn 6, I'm now thinking this is it, Xeno takes us around turn seven still keeping a lively pace and he pops about 150 before the last two turns before the S/F straight. I figure make these sons a behives hurt and I ramp it up on my 13 then hit the straight and jump to my 11 in full tilt boogy. Would have been great if it were actually the bell lap but who could tell? can't hear the announcer, can't hear the real bell...... Oh and did I mention I stopped thinking for myself at Lap 2?
ARGH! But wait it gets better, to punctuate it I punch the sky at the end of the straight.......
What a Jackass! All in All it was kind of funny how I punctuated it with a fist punch at the end of the straight, The real funky thing was that night before the race I was using visualization for the race and one of those visions was Don't pull a Zabel at the finish, probably why I put in such a ferocious sprint.......... oh freaking well!
Had I known how badly I messed this up I should have kept going as I had probably a good 5~7 second gap on the group and should have tried and regain what little dignity I had left.
OK now for the silver lining.
Prior to this race I was thinking what the hell am I racing for? no real showings other than some good placing in CX. I'm competitive by nature but a bit too timid in a shoulder to shoulder race as I don't want to kill someone due to my brick wall build compared to my compatriots. Seriously considering this to be my last year at racing. Yesterday that Changed.

Here's what I got out of it.
> I had Plenty of Gas left in the Tank leading up to the sprint. Now I know I got what it takes
to finish off a crit
> I had great position in the final 5, I know I can get myself where I need to be.
> I basically went stupid and stopped thinking for myself. I need to Maintain my plan, stay smart, and not give up the control to my teammates. Communication!
> Even though it was a Faux finish the feeling of Ecstasy was great! I want that feeling for real
and I'm gonna get it! AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN!

Mama Always said stupid is as stupid does.
But if you can't be honest with yourself, awknowledge your short comings and mistakes you'll only fool yourself. If you denie what has happened and don't learn or grow from the experience you'll never improve.

To my teammates there at Hanford my sincere Apologies for pulling such a bonehead move and causing embarrassment to the team.

I've got to get out and work on my math skills
Jim